I feel like this past weekend is going to be very typical of weekends to come now that all my friends have bfs. (I'm still a little jealous, see my last post, although I think I'm getting slightly better... maybe... we'll see how bitter I become by the end of this post).
Anyway, Friday night I went out with S and her bf, Fly Boy (he's a pilot). Just the three of us. Now let me explain... he's a great guy. He's very good about going out with me and S... he dances with both of us, buys us both drinks, doesn't mind getting left alone if S and I want to dance by ourselves. It's just that towards the end of the night, they start kissing more, touching more, being a little more stuck together. This of course coincides with me being at least slightly buzzed (after all it's the end of the night and we've been drinking) and therefore more likely to get sad and lonely. So I feel like everytime the three of us go out, I end the night in or close to tears. Fly Boy is pretty soon going to think I'm loony!
Saturday, Fly Boy had to leave for work... being a pilot he's here a few days, gone a few days. I spend my day doing not a whole lot having slept until 1 in the afternoon. My mom came over around dinner time and we played the Wii and ordered a pizza. S texts me and wants to know if I'm up for doing anything that night. And while I wouldn't mind staying in (I'm getting old!) I say sure. We make plans to go out around 10:30. Well I get a call from her around 10:15 saying her son, who had spent the afternoon with his until-recently-absent-father, still wasn't home and so it would be a little later. I say that's fine and tell her that I'll wait to hear from her again before getting ready. Big shock... I never hear from her (sarcasm intended)... she sometimes ditches me like that. She apparently got into a huge fight with her parents, who she lives with with her son, about the fact that she was letting babby daddy back in the picture. While this weekend I really didn't care, since I was only marginal about going out in the first place, if she starts never wanting to go out unless Fly Boy is there, I'm going to be one annoyed best friend.
Sunday I did laundry, thought about going to the grocery store, realized I'd have to go to the store today so that I could pick up my birth control perscription so decided to just wait to go grocery shopping today as well, thought about how it was pointless these days for me to even be on birth control, straightened up my family room and kitchen a bit, watched some DVR'd shows, and played the Wii. It was a good day although left me wishing I had someone to share it with.
I swear my next post will not be a "poor me" post like the last two...
Monday, March 31, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Jealousy issues
I admit that I have always had a slight problem with being more jealous than I should be, typically in relationships. I normally wouldn't have a problem if the guy I was seeing/dating/whatever was talking to some other girl if we were out together, but if he talked to the same "other girl" several times, I'd start questioning his intentions with her, and jealousy would rear it's ugly head. I've actually gotten much better about this as I've gotten older though, so props for me!
Today, however, I have experienced jealousy in a different light. Here's the scenario: my core group of friends includes me and three other women about the same age as me. We all started hanging out together on a regular basis during the past year or so. All of us were single, so we had the "I hate men!" philosophy in common and generally had a great time going out together, drinking, making out with random strangers, and all leaving together so as to not get ourselves into any compromising situations with the random strangers we had spent the night making out with.
Fast forward to December. One of the girls decides she's going to give her ex, who's about to leave for the Navy, another chance. So we stop hearing from her pretty much completely. If/when she did call us, she would expect us to rearrange our plans so that they accomodated her. We weren't really into doing that, so she stopped hanging out with us. She's now content to be in a long-distance relationship and when we do invite her out, she never can join for whatever reason.
Fast forward another couple of months. Another one of the group goes to Virginia Beach with her roommate (also a friend of ours, but she doesn't come out as regularly as the core group did) who's boyfriend is in the Navy there. So, the women from the core comes back gushing about this guy she met and how wonderful he is. He comes up the following weekend to visit her, she goes back the next weekend to visit him, and now, she's happily in a long-distance relationship where she travels to VB a couple times a month.
About the same time as VB boy was becoming bf of J from the core (yes the same J who's been written about before), S (yes the same S as before) gets a visit from a male friend of hers from high school. We all hang out several times together, and they make out all the time. Now, they aren't technically together, but it's heading that way since she ditched plans that the three of us had last night so that they could sleep together for the first time.
So that leaves me. The only one left in the group without a man. And I'm jealous, I admit it. It's not that I'm not happy for my friends... I really am. They are all wonderful women who deserve to be happy and in good relationships with men who will treat them right. I just think i deserve the same thing and feel left out since I'm the sole single gal left. I feel like J and S are going to continously ditch me for their men and I'm going to be spending my weekends at home, by myself, playing the Wii. Or, if S does continue to go out with me and her man, I end up feeling like the third wheel, drinking by myself while they make out.
Maybe it's just cuz S ditched me last night that I'm feeling like this today. But really... I don't know. Especially cuz now all my friends continuously tell me or talk between themselves about how they need to "find Jenn a nice guy." I feel like their charity case. And I'm jealous. Any advice?
Today, however, I have experienced jealousy in a different light. Here's the scenario: my core group of friends includes me and three other women about the same age as me. We all started hanging out together on a regular basis during the past year or so. All of us were single, so we had the "I hate men!" philosophy in common and generally had a great time going out together, drinking, making out with random strangers, and all leaving together so as to not get ourselves into any compromising situations with the random strangers we had spent the night making out with.
Fast forward to December. One of the girls decides she's going to give her ex, who's about to leave for the Navy, another chance. So we stop hearing from her pretty much completely. If/when she did call us, she would expect us to rearrange our plans so that they accomodated her. We weren't really into doing that, so she stopped hanging out with us. She's now content to be in a long-distance relationship and when we do invite her out, she never can join for whatever reason.
Fast forward another couple of months. Another one of the group goes to Virginia Beach with her roommate (also a friend of ours, but she doesn't come out as regularly as the core group did) who's boyfriend is in the Navy there. So, the women from the core comes back gushing about this guy she met and how wonderful he is. He comes up the following weekend to visit her, she goes back the next weekend to visit him, and now, she's happily in a long-distance relationship where she travels to VB a couple times a month.
About the same time as VB boy was becoming bf of J from the core (yes the same J who's been written about before), S (yes the same S as before) gets a visit from a male friend of hers from high school. We all hang out several times together, and they make out all the time. Now, they aren't technically together, but it's heading that way since she ditched plans that the three of us had last night so that they could sleep together for the first time.
So that leaves me. The only one left in the group without a man. And I'm jealous, I admit it. It's not that I'm not happy for my friends... I really am. They are all wonderful women who deserve to be happy and in good relationships with men who will treat them right. I just think i deserve the same thing and feel left out since I'm the sole single gal left. I feel like J and S are going to continously ditch me for their men and I'm going to be spending my weekends at home, by myself, playing the Wii. Or, if S does continue to go out with me and her man, I end up feeling like the third wheel, drinking by myself while they make out.
Maybe it's just cuz S ditched me last night that I'm feeling like this today. But really... I don't know. Especially cuz now all my friends continuously tell me or talk between themselves about how they need to "find Jenn a nice guy." I feel like their charity case. And I'm jealous. Any advice?
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