Another weekend

Another weekend has come and gone, leaving me with more confusion regarding M. I will start off by saying that I probably shouldn't have even been out this past Saturday. Last Tuesday I started getting sick. Wednesday I felt worse and by Thursday I had a temperature of 103 and a positive flu test. I stayed home from work Thursday and Friday, wallowing in my misery. Saturday I was feeling better, but really knew I should probably have stayed in and rested up. Unfortunately, Saturday was also my friend J's birthday... and I am not one to miss out on celebrating a friend's bday. So I loaded myself up with motrin and sudafed and headed out, thinking (wrongly) that I would only have one shot and I'd come home early. Three or four shots later, as the bars are closing, I'm being dragged off to have food with J and the gang, meaning I don't get home until about 4:30. Amazingly, I didn't feel any worse yesterday after the drunken night.

So we start off at a different bar, but still one we go to often. M walks in with some of his friends later when I'm getting ready to have the first of the aforementioned shots. He does the head nod greeting to me across the bar. After the shot, I go over (cuz I am not going to have a repeat of the weekend before) and give him a hug and chitchat with him for a few minutes as he's playing pool. I leave him wanting more (at least in my mind) by cutting the convo a little short and say I'm going back to the other side to hang out with my friends. He says okay and that he'd probably be over there in a bit. He never really does end up over on the other side of the bar, but that's okay. We at least acknowledge each other whenever we walk past one another or when we make eye contact. Later on in the night, he comes over to me and says that they're all going to the other bar that we usually go to, and asks if we're gonna come. I say that we are getting our tabs then and then we'll be on our way.

We get to the other bar and he's of course in the middle of all the action, dancing with some of his girl friends (he has a lot of those). I don't worry about these girls because I think they all have boyfriends, and I've known about them for a while anyway, so whatever. But it makes it awkward when I don't really know them, and M is with them, for me to go over to M and start dancing with him. So we kinda don't say much to each other at this point. Okay, the bar is getting ready to close and M is leaving. He tells me before he leaves where they're all going, so of course J and I go there after we pay the tab. There's about 12 of us at this place, with tables shoved together to make one big table to sit at. M is on the other side of the table and, according to J (who is drunk by this point, so who knows if she was right), he keeps looking over at me. Well at the end of the night, when we're waiting for our checks, I get up to go to the bathroom and I see M look over at me, and I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he watches me walk across the restaurant. Finally, I look over at him, make eye contact, and wink at him. He smiles and winks back. But other than that... nothing. So we pay and get ready to leave and I go say goodbye to him and he says he'll talk to me soon and gives me a hug.

It's just confusing. Does he like me or not? At this point I almost don't care one way or the other, I'd just like to know. Obviously I'd rather him like me, but if he doesn't, that's cool, I just want to know instead of feeling like there's mixed messages. And maybe there really isn't mixed messages. Maybe I'm reading too much into the "friendly" things he does and he really does only like me as a friend. Although J told me earlier that night that B had told her that M never takes girls home, so he must really like me since he took me home that night. Okay, if that's the case then what happened? Cuz he's not acting interested anymore since then. Maybe I just create drama to try and make my life seem more interesting than it really is.