Men are jerks

Okay... so I don't know how long this post will be since I'm supposed to be heading off to lunch soon before seeing patients all afternoon, but here goes nothing...

The "new man" in my life I spoke of last time... well we're done. Shortest relationship of my adult life. Sure, I probably had shorter in like middle school, when "relationships" weren't really much to speak of, but two weeks as an adult? Wow. Especially since for a week of the time I was his "girl" he didn't answer my phone calls or texts. Umm, excuse me? So there I am laying in bed sleeping at 8 am one Monday morning when my phone tells me I have a text message. It was from him and all it said was "I'm sorry it didn't work out." Well then... that's fun. so we text back and forth for a few minutes and the information I gather from this riveting text conversation is that it was nothing I did, but a girl from his past who he was in love with, but was dating a friend of his at the time, came back into his life and he told her how he felt and they were going to be together. I wished them well, determined that he and I were good as friends, and left it at that. I mean, okay. I can't blame him for that. If the roles had been reversed, I would have probably made the same decision. So I'm not mad at him. I even still like him.

So we go out the following night, Tuesday (what? what kind of almost-28-year-old goes out anymore on a Tuesday night?! apparently me). He's there with his new girl. I'm somewhat fine with it, even considering it was someone he had told me previously was just a friend and I had nothing to worry about. Even considering I had seen her out the previous Saturday and said something to her about her knowing my boyfriend. Then what happens? He proceeds to ignore me all night long. What happened to us being cool as friends? I even called him on it and he refused to look at me and said he wasn't ignoring me. Meanwhile, his new girlfriend kissed another guy in the hallway to the bathroom and was shaking her booty on every male and female in sight (did I mention she goes both ways? umm, yeah.). He gets pissed and leaves. Come to find out later that as of that night he was done with her. Thats what he told my friend who introduced the two of us.

So wouldn't you think that a guy who was so into me when he met me then screwed up and realized it, would call me and try to get me back? I mean, this guy called me like 5 times a day, texted me every chance he got, and wanted to see me every night when he and I first started talking. He begged me to be his girl. He wouldn't stop talking about me to all of his friends. And yet, he doesn't call to try and win me back? Funny thing is... I would take him back. Even after the way he handled breaking up with me... ignoring me for a week and then doing it over text... I would still take him back. Because I know his potential as a great guy. I know how he treated me at the beginning and I want that person back in my life. And I do think he'd make a great husband and father someday. Yes I started out with him thinking it was just a distraction, but as time goes on and I can't stop thinking about him, and needing a distraction from this "distraction", I realize that maybe there was something there. And I want that something back, so I'd be willing to give it another shot. Especially since it all happened so early after we met each other. Like i said before, if the shoe had been on the other foot, I would have done the same thing.

So me and my friend go out again last night (another Tuesday... it's a typical night for us). He's there again. So is this other ex of his. Now he and my friend have been friends for years... like 10 at least. We get there and everyone is in a pretty good mood since another friend of ours just had a baby that day. So we're all sorts of celebrating. Well mostly the guys. My friend and I are more low-key. So he talks to my friend, but says nothing to me. Okay... we grab our drinks and head off to a table since they aren't talking to us really, which happens to be close to the bathroom. He walks by a few minutes later and makes a face at my friend. When he walks by again, he looks at both of us and says "Now you girls be good." I'm getting pretty heated by this point because he's still not really talking to me, but he's still talking to the girl from last week. So whatever, I'm dealing with it when this guy I met there last week came over and started talking to me and flirting with me. Now, this guy is cute enough but I'm really not into him.

Now, I'm not going to get into all the details of the night, that would take too long. But here are the highlights. This new guy drags me outside cuz he wants to smoke a cigarette. The ex is out there too and somehow they must know each other vaguely at least because we're all standing in the same circle talking. It was an awkward moment for me to say the least. I see my ex drinking a mixed drink (which he never does cuz liquor fires him up so to speak) and I ask him what it is. He gets this grin on his face and tells me to taste it. I do, and then he tells me it's practically straight bacardi with a splash of coke. He then proceeds to say that he's going to jail. I ask him why and he tells me that he's gonna get into a fight that night (see why he never drinks anything but beer?). I tell him not to fight and then ask him if he's coming out this weekend with us to celebrate my birthday (which is Sunday) and he shrugs and says "If I'm not still in jail," and then walks inside. Fast forward a little while, and I decide to text him saying something to the effect of if he's in jail for fighting who's gonna give me birthday nookie over the weekend. No response from him. Fast forward again a little while and he's talking to my friend at the bar, I'm standing close by and hear him tell her that he's gonna get into a fight tonight. And then, according to her, he looked over at me. Now, who knows what that really means. Fast forward a little while once more and we're all outside... me, my friend, the ex, the guy who just had a baby (why was he there and not with his wife? who knows), another one of the guys we had been hanging out with, and the guy from earlier who was all flirty with me. Flirty guy comes up behind me and starts dancing/grinding on me, tries kissing my neck, etc. and I'm not really into it so I keep pulling away. I look over and see the ex and the two guys all watching and the next thing I know, the ex is saying goodbye to people. He walks in, I follow cuz I want to say goodbye to him and ask him again about this weekend, when the other girl from last week comes over to him and gives him a big hug (mind you she was there with a different guy last night). He hugs her back, face in her neck, holding her for a long time. When they finally pull away, he starts to leave and so I follow and say his name, he turns and says "bye" without making eye contact. I try grabbing his arm cuz I wanna make sure he's okay and he pulls away and says "no." and walks out.

Of course I'm upset about this. Why is he still all sweet with this girl who treated him like shit, but won't give me the time of day? I would never have done what she did to him, and he's able to forgive her but not me. And I didn't even do anything wrong! So I start walking back, pissed/upset about the whole thing. The guy who just had a baby intercepts me and says "Whats wrong?" Now this guy and the ex are like brothers. They would do anything for one another, so i don't want to get him involved. But he persists... saying that he knows I'm upset cuz I'm not smiling like I usually am and says he's not leaving me alone until I tell him. So I tell him that it was about the ex and he said "you miss him?" And I said that I did, and he told me to go after him then. I explained that I tried and he brushed me aside. I said how he basically had already brushed his hands clean of me. To which he responded, "Trust me. He hasn't. If he had brushed his hands clean of you, then why was he getting all pissed about that other guy dancing with you?" So he and I go back and forth for a while and he insists that he doesn't know what the ex's deal is because he won't talk to even him about it, but that if I really want him, I have to chase him and catch him. He does also say that while he hates getting in the middle of shit like this, that he'll talk to the ex for me because I pointed out that it would be hard to talk to him if he kept ignoring me.

Now, why do I have to be the one to chase? I'm not the one who ended it in the first place. I'm not the one who was with someone else immediately. I'm not the one who ignored him for a week before breaking up with him. He did that to me. So shouldn't he swallow his f*cking pride and talk to me? Yet he won't do that, so if I want this to work out, I have to be the one to chase him. I don't know what all I will do yet, but I think I am going to try and call him tonight. he won't answer, of course, but I can leave a detailed voicemail about everything I'm thinking and hope it gets through to him. Who knows if it will. So yeah I might chase him for a bit, but it won't last long. Because obviously, I can get other guys. So if he stays stubborn and ignorant for too long, he'll wake up one day and realize I'm not chasing him anymore and that his chance to be with a good woman who wouldn't treat him like shit is gone. And that'll be his loss.