Dreams and Boston

I had this dream last night about The Reason. I woke up this morning extremely grumpy. I don't think this is a coincidence. In the dream he was living with his new girlfriend and things for them were all hunky-dory (where did that term originate anyway? I may have to do some investigative research). It was bad enough that they were happy and in love while I was still single and bitter, but they also were living next to my brother who had become friends with them! And so when I thought I was going to spend time with him, there they were. It was like I couldn't get away from them.

So why did I wake up grumpy about this dream? Cuz I just don't want to think about him anymore. I know that every relationship teaches you something about yourself and what you really want out of life, but I just don't want to keep remembering him. I'm over him. I've moved on. I don't want him back. But at the same time, I don't want to think about him. Ever. Maybe this means that I'm not as over him as I think I am? I don't think so. I think there are still aspects about the break-up that hurt. Like how quickly he moved on and how it obviously wasn't just a rebound since he's still with her a year later. Like him just disappearing out of my life so quickly without even a glance back. Like the fact that he wanted to be single and I wanted a relationship, and yet here we are... him in a relationship and me single. But honestly? Day in and day out, I generally don't think about him. I'm too busy trying to figure out the other men in my life. I move through my day just fine without thought of him. So I wish my unconscious state would just do the same.

Speaking of those other men in my life? Boston. Here's my problem... I don't know how to date a shy guy, and Boston seems kinda shy. I've always dated either the center of attention, life of the party types, or the bad boy, "I don't give a fuck what you think about me" types. Because really, I like being the one who's quieter, the one who's pursued, in the relationship. And yet, every time I talk to Boston, it's because I've called or texted him. I can't tell if he likes me or wishes I would just leave him alone but is too polite to say that to me. We haven't seen each other in about a week and a half and have no current plans to get together either. But whenever I text him, he responds. Or if I call him, he either answers or calls back. When I talked to him last Saturday, he said he was planning on just staying in that night but that if he went out he'd call me so we could meet up.

I guess I'm at this place with him where I don't know what to do. There's part of me that says, "If he was into you, he would take the time to initiate a phone call or make plans with you. And since he hasn't, then just move on." But there's this other part of me that says, "He's a good guy, he's just shy. You don't want to miss out a good guy just because he isn't the one who calls you. He does always respond to you, so it isn't like he's ignoring you." But I don't know if that just sounds like me making excuses for him. And honestly I don't know if I really feel like it's a big deal that I'm always the one to initiate the phone calls or if it's just something I'm not used to. I guess for the time being I'll probably continue to call (okay that makes me sound like a stalker or something... I think I really only call him like once a week, maybe twice if we've talked and made potential plans for later in the week. I don't call every day or anything!) and then maybe next time we hang out bring it up somehow. Thoughts? Suggestions? Words of wisdom?