I finally met up with Boston again. It had only been about a month since we had seen each other, but we talked/texted usually a couple times a week. Anyway, during and immediately after the date I saw it in one way, and then a few days post-date (which makes me wonder if it was really a "date") I have different thoughts. So here for your reading pleasure is the Tale of Two Dates
My First Reaction
I called him Thursday to see if he wanted to go catch the opening night of college football along with some of the pre-season NFL games that night. He called me back saying he was kinda tired, but he was up for grabbing a drink or two. We decide where to go and since it's near his house, I pick him up along the way. We get there, order a couple of the dollar draft specials, and I take out my card to pay since I'm the one who invited him out. He pulls out some cash and tells me he'll get them since I drove to his neighborhood (which only took 10 minutes, but that was nice of him). Conversation is pretty good, a little awkward at times maybe, a few longer breaks in conversation, but again we were watching football. He gets a call from one of his friends and invites them to come meet us out (friends that I already knew of his, so it wasn't like "Meet the Friends" or anything). Everyone has a good time, Boston pays for all my drinks, and after about 4 hours we head off. Get back to his house and we hadn't discussed me coming in, so I don't just assume I am. He takes off his seatbelt and reaches for the door, kinda pauses when he realizes I haven't turned the car off, and looks back at me with this, "Aren't you coming in?" kinda look and asks me that same question as I ask, "Did you want me to come in?" He immediately says "Yeah, well... I mean, unless you're too tired or need to get home or something..." So we go in and... yada yada yada... next morning we get up, he has to get ready for work, I need to get home. We have an awkward-ish hug and wish each other a good day and I say I'll talk to him soon, and he says "Okay."
After a few days
I texted him Saturday night, just a simple "Enjoy the game today?" and heard nothing from him. Still haven't. I understand texts can get lost sometimes, or maybe he was busy, or didn't get it until much later, but it's the first time I've gotten no response from him. And it was the first time I tried getting a hold of him after our date, so of course it makes me re-analyze everything from that night... maybe he only went out with me that night cuz he figured since he'd been talking/texting with me ever since the last time we saw each other he couldn't all of a sudden just stop without seeing me again cuz it would be weird. Maybe he only meant he was gonna buy my first drink and was annoyed that he paid for all of them and I didn't even offer except for the first one. Maybe he invited his friends to come out cuz he was having an awful time with just me and wanted other people there to have a better time. Maybe he invited me in afterwards cuz he figured he should get something out of having to spend the whole evening with me. Maybe he didn't want me to spend the night and was annoyed that I did. Maybe he's planning on never talking to me again so that he doesn't have to go through with any of it again.
And that, my friends, is the brain I have to live with every day. The over-analyzing. The assuming the worst. What does everyone think? Do you see anything I did that was terribly wrong? Is he just not into me? I figure I'll call him either tonight or tomorrow, maybe suggest trying to get together again soon, and see what happens.
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3 comments:
what do you want from Boston? a serious long-term relationship? Cause if that is the case...it doesn't seem like his behavior is leading down that path. Do you want a fun guy to hang out with, buy you drinks/dinner and have some occasional hookups? Seems like you've got your man.
My advice? Stop analyzing his feelings/thoughts. Figure out what YOU want. If you he isn't giving it to you, then move on. If he is, enjoy it.
I think you're onto something chickbug. After reading your post I realized that I'm not sure I know what I want from him and that's the biggest problem. I think ultimately, we haven't spent enough time together for me to know if I'd want a serious long-term relationship with him. What I know is that he does seem like a really good guy, with the kind of values I like in a man (plus I think he's real easy on the eyes!). But I guess I need to spend more time with him to decide if it's what I want or not. I think I need to just take a deep breath and let the chips fall where they may. If that means we get together again and continue spending time with one another, great. If not, so be it.
I'm with chickbug on this guy. I would move on and let some guy who is worthy of you chase you!
BTW, it's hard not to over analyze! I do it constantly..actually I'm doing it as I type this about a guy I have a crush on. men stink!
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