Okay, so remember the guy I'm not gonna get into detail about, cuz I actually feel nervous butterflies about him and stupid shit like that. Yeah, well I'm still not gonna talk about him in particular. Let's just say I'm gonna talk about fantasy...
As I said before, I texted him and never heard back from him. My friends are full of all sorts of excuses for him and whatnot (e.g. "maybe he doesn't get text messages", "maybe he never got your text", "maybe he texted you back and you didn't get his", etc.) and they always end by saying, "JUST CALL HIM!" And I always tell them, "I will, I will... I just don't know when." And here's why:
Until I call him, I can live in this little fantasty world. Believe that when I call him, we'll make plans to go out, end up dating, falling in love, and getting married. We'll live in the town I grew up in, be friends with all the right people, and have cute little babies who will grow up popular so that I'd never have to worry about them being picked on. (Part of this fantasy really only makes sense if you knew details about the situation, but just roll with it). It's quite a nice life in my fantasy world.
But once I call him, that's it. No more fantasy world. Because if he does answer and we make plans to get together, then it's not a fantasy (obviously the option I would choose), but if he doesn't answer and never calls me back? Well, then obviously I can't fantasize about it working out. And right now, it's a lot easier to live in a fantasy world where everything works out than live in reality where it's up in the air whether it will work out or not. Can you fault me for that? I think not.
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2 comments:
oh the fantasy world. sometimes i think i spent 5 years in it...during my past relationship. not actually in the fantasy, but dreaming of it coming one day. the problem, you have to live in reality. and maybe that reality is amazing and maybe it is not...but you gotta find out!
as unhealthy as it sounds, i prefer to live in my fantasy world until i can prepare myself for reality :)
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