Fore!

Well, I'm officially done with my golf lessons. Now this, in no way, means that I'm any good, but I feel like I can officially cross of "learn how to play golf" on my list of "Things To Do In This Lifetime". After all, I didn't say that I had to play golf well. maybe that will be on the revised version of the list. But, learn how to play golf? Check!

Of course now I want my own golf clubs. Do I like golf. I do... but it's not like I'm thinking that now maybe on a nice Saturday I'll pick up and go to the driving range. But maybe if I had nice new golf clubs, ones that went "ping" when you smacked a ball, maybe I would. Golf clubs? Not cheap! And as you recall, I'm trying to save as much money as I can so that I can travel sometime. So the questions is... do I just use my moms old clubs this summer anytime I want to play (they are from like the 70's... or maybe not, but they feel like it!), or do I splurge a little and get a set of clubs, even though that will cost me a pretty penny (probably upwards of $300)? I would ask for some for my birthday, but that isn't until November, so I'd basically be using the old ones all summer anyway if I did that. Plus I feel like I'd play a little more often if I had new clubs. For instance Bass likes golf and has suggested we go to the driving range. I'd be less embarrassed about doing that if I had pretty golf clubs. Maybe I'll head over to the golf store near my house after work and take a look to see about prices. My other problem... I know nothing about brands and which ones are good. Obviously I would want ones from a good brand!

And this just goes to show how my brain typically works. Once I think I want something, I want it right away! Maybe I should put "learn to be more patient" on my list... sigh.

Here's the thing...

I'm loving my eating better attitude. I got to add "good" carbs back in, technically starting yesterday, although I didn't have too many then either since I had cheated a little bit over the weekend. Totally not my fault, btw. I was at Bass's and he was ordering food for us and since I had lost my wallet (no worries, it's been found now) I didn't feel like I had too much control over what we ordered. Plus I hadn't eaten all day (it's amazing how you can kinda forget to to that when you're, ahem, otherwise occupied). So when he suggested pasta from an excellent Italian restaurant, who was I to argue. And I didn't go overboard or anything, so I'm not beating myself up over it. But I digress...

The thing about eating healthy is that I have to cook so much more than what I have been doing. And that? Means my kitchen is always a mess. I think I've ran the diswasher like 7 or 8 times in the last couple weeks, which may not sound like a lot, but I live by myself so they're all my dishes. Before I could make it through a week only running the dishwasher once, maybe twice. So I feel like all I do these days is cook or clean my kitchen. And everytime I feel like I'm getting somewhere with it, I make something else and the kitchen is a disaster once again. It makes me feel like I need to take a week off work just to get a handle on my house. I'm not the cleanest person BY FAR, but even I'm feeling overwhelmed by the chaos that has consumed my house since the eating healthy has resumed.

But I'm down 7.2 pounds so far. Not as much as I'd like, but definitely something. So I guess I can't complain about the messiness too much. It's helping me see results at least. And cleaning burns more calories than sitting on my butt watching TV does!

High School Reunion

So, my 10-year high school reunion is coming up this 4th of July weekend. I am... hmm, how do I feel about this? I'm actually pretty excited, I think. I wasn't super popular or anything in high school, I was pretty middle of the road. I was a cheerleader, but, strangely enough, I was probably quiet most of the rest of the time throughout school. I had friends who were more popular than me, and less popular than me, and that was fine with me. I've never been one to care about popularity. So I guess I'm excited not cuz I'm living in the past and want to go back to high school (NO WAY!) but moreso cuz I've grown so much and want to see how others have changed. Living in Miami for almost 8 years changed me a ton from who I was in high school, and I'm just much more confident about who I am. So I think it should be a good time. That being said...

I received my invite and immediately thought, oh Lord, now I have to actually think about getting back into shape. Now, I've lost a good bit of weight in the past couple years, but I'll admit that since The Reason and I broke up, my health hasn't always taken top priority. I like being active, playing softball, golf, etc., but not exercising for the sake of exercising. And I love my junk food. Basically I had been living my life almost as two different lives... Sunday through Wednesday I ate well. Thursday through Saturday it was like I wanted to see how much junk food I could get in. This has changed in the past week and a half, drastically for now. I basically have started a lower-carb diet, and have maintained it very well so far. I plan on doing this through this coming Sunday, which would be 2 weeks total. As of a week in, I was down 5 pounds. Then I'm going to add "good" carbs back into my diet... whole wheat pasta, brown rice, fruit (my God, FRUIT!), and whatnot. I may also add back in a "cheat" day, or at least a "cheat" meal where I can have whatever I want. But we'll see how it goes. So what about that exercise?

I got myself up this morning, headed over to Best Buy, and bought myself a Wii Fit. Now, I understand that this is a game and so who knows if I'll really see stupendous results or anything, but I figure it's a start. If it's getting me up and moving, doing yoga, balance games, and strength training, on a regular basis, that will at least get me started and more in shape to do actual exercise (like the 5K training that I would like to do).

I'm not saying I need to lose a ton of weight or anything, but I wouldn't mind being down another 10 to 15 before the reunion. I'll try to track my progress here, as boring as that might be to any of you readers, but maybe it will make me stay more focused.

Taking it one day at a time, updated

Here's a question... if you go into dating someone with that person saying he isn't sure if he's ready for a relationship, but he likes you and likes hanging out with you and just wants to take things slow, what do you do? On the one hand you may think, "Good. He's being honest with me, and we'll just see how it goes." On the other hand, you may think, "Okay, but how long do I wait for you to decide? I don't want to waste a bunch of time with you if there's someone else out there who might be ready for a relationship."

That was basically what Bass told me Saturday night, well okay Sunday morning, as we laid in his bed together. I stressed out about it all day yesterday. I mean, I don't want to waste a bunch of time, but I do like him and like spending time with him. And we were together, by his doing, for like half the weekend. Do I know if he's "the one"? No, I have no idea! And I shouldn't know by now... we've only been talking for a month! So I don't expect him to know either. I think it's good that he's aware of his issues and is up-front about it and what he's thinking. He doesn't want to rush into anything. That's fine with me.

So I guess what I need to decide is how long do we continue what we're doing before I say "peace out" if he still can't decide. I'm thinking if we've been talking for like three months or so, he should feel ready to at least call me his girlfriend. Am I right? I know I shouldn't put a time limit on these things, but seriously, if we can hang out a couple times a week for 3 months... I just refuse to wait around wondering if he'll ever be ready. But for now, I'm taking it one day at a time. And I'm pretty much at peace with this decision. I like him, he likes me. We enjoy spending time together. I'm not going to actively look to date other people, but if something comes up, then it comes up. In the meantime, I'll just enjoy what we've got going on.

Oh, and I passed the friend test! We actually met a few of each others friends last Friday, and he told me that his friends really liked me and he better not screw it up! My friends liked him as well, and he liked them. So that's a bonus. :)

UPDATE: So, I'm not on match anymore (which is where me and Bass met) cuz I didn't feel like paying again... mind you I cancelled my account actually before Bass and I met, so it's not like I did it because I met him or anything. Anyway, I can still search people on there though and see how recently they've been on. Well I did this with Bass today, and it said he's been "active" within 24 hours, meaning after I last saw him and we had our little discussion. I don't know why this bugs me, but it does. Maybe it's cuz I thought we were on the same page of not actively looking for anyone else, but not technically together. Clearly, the page he's on is still dating around and seeing what's out there. Which should be fine with me cuz I don't know if I want to be in a serious relationship with him or not, and he said he wasn't ready for a relationship. But it still bothers me. And I know that him being on doesn't necessarily mean anything... maybe someone sent him an email and he logged on to read it but didn't respond or anything. I totally did this to myself though. I shouldn't have looked to see if he had been on recently and then I would have been blissfully unaware. Remind me not to look again.

It's Been A While...

After typing the title of the upcoming post, all I can think about is that Staind song with the same title... and that song for some reason makes me think about this guy I dated in Miami in 2002. And that? Kinda makes me wanna vomit. We didn't have the healthiest of relationships and I don't like going back there in my mind. But seriously, none of this has anything to do with the rest of the post, so I think I'll just get on with it...

This month has been slightly busier at work, which is why it's been a while since I've posted anything, seeing as how I normally post at work, when I should be working. Whatever. So I've been busier, which is why I haven't written, but I'm going to get back into it.

I think things have also been going well the past couple weeks, so I haven't had as much to complain/whine/stress about, which is what usually prompts me to write in the first place. The guy I've been talking to, we'll call him Bass from now on for reasons that I choose not to share at this point, is still around. We've been talking (I think that would be the right term in the dating dictionary, although I've never been real good at that lingo) for about 3 and a half weeks, been out four times, would have been out a fifth time already if I had actually gotten his text Saturday, and have plans to get together sometime this week. There's been lots of making out, but no sex, which is good. Well, good in the "if I want to see where this is going, we should wait before having sex" sense. Not so much in the "I'm really horny and would like to get some" kinda way.

The thing about Bass is that he's very casual in this whole talking to one another thing, and it's not what I'm used to. We don't really make plans to hang out or get together too far in advance, if at all. Which is fine, I guess. But it does make it a little difficult to figure out what he's thinking. And if one more person says "Maybe that's just the way he is..." I think I may scream. I understand that this may be how he is, but it doesn't make it easier to figure out. Now don't get me wrong, I like him. And I'm really not freaking out about it. I think he likes me too. I guess I wouldn't mind seeing him a little more often than once a week, but for now, things are good with him. My friends desperately want to meet him, but I'm not sure he's ready for that. I never know what guys think about that. I mean, in my mind, just because I invite you to do something where you'd meet my friends doesn't mean I think you're my boyfriend or anything. Usually it just means that I'm doing something with my friends that I think you'd like too. Bottom line: Things with Bass are good, I'm cautiously optimistic (cuz it seems like when I think things are okay, that's when they go to shit), and I'm not freaking out about it.

It did get me thinking the other night though. I still honestly can't imagine calling a man other than my ex (the one who broke my heart and is the reason for the whole start of the blog, in fact I think I'll call him The Reason from now on, just to keep things clear) my boyfriend. It's weird cuz I had that brief fling with the young ex, but it was so short-lived that I don't really necessarily consider him an ex. I was absolutely in love with The Reason and was confident I'd be with him forever. I realize now that's not the case. He's happily moved on. I've moved on, albeit with some pushing and shoving, but moved on all the same. And I really don't want to be with him anymore. But I can't imagine my life with someone else either. When I picture my future now, I almost can't picture ever being with anyone. I can't picture my life where I come home to someone every night. Where I have to clean and cook more often. Where finding "me time" is difficult cuz someone else is always there.

I've always pictured myself having a very normal relationship, almost from like the 50's or so. I'd get home from work first, straighten up a bit and start cooking dinner. My husband would come home a little later to a house that smelled delicious and we'd have a nice dinner. Afterwards, I'd clean up and do some fun "me time" stuff while he did who knows what in his office. Then we'd spend the evening together doing whatever we wanted. Maybe this sounds old-fashioned or unrealistic, but it's what I always pictured. Now? Not so much. I guess more than anything I just can't picture what my future will look like. Maybe it's just cuz I don't have someone currently in my life that I want all that with (after all, Bass and I have only been talking for less than a month). I'm still hopeful, but The Reason really did a number on me I guess.

This post? It just proves that I should have something particular in mind when I set out writing. Otherwise it has no definite beginning, middle, or end and just tends to ramble on and on and on... My apologies for the randomness.

Tag - You're it!

I've been tagged by ChickBug... so here are some fun facts that you may not know about me. Enjoy!

The details:
-post the rules on your blog
-write six random things about yourself in a blog post
-tag six people in your post
-let each person know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
-let the tagger know your entry is up

1.) I took a cooking class recently where I learned how to make homemade pasta, from flour and eggs. Yesterday I attempted doing this myself at home... it was what I'm calling a beautiful disaster. It took me four and a half hours and my kitchen is still in shambles (the disaster part), but the end result was totally worth it!

2.) I admit that I broke out into a huge stupid grin when I got a text yesterday from the guy I've been talking to that said "Hey there hot stuff." I still can't tell if he's into me or just likes making out with me, but being called hot is always nice and I think a step in the right direction. And yes, I'm still grinning about it everytime I think about it.

3.) I would love to try my hand at flipping a house. This is something my mother and I have talked about in the past, but obviously the housing market is not primed for something like this right now. Plus, I feel as though I should wait until finances are a little less tight. But I think it would be so much fun to try at least once!

4.) Although I'm back living in C-bus (that's Columbus, Ohio for all of you who don't know), I am still addicted to Miami sports teams... the Dolphins, the Marlins, and (most importantly) the Hurricanes. I'm even known to watch/keep track of Marlins games on the computer since I don't get them on TV.

5.) Eyes freak me out. Not the pretty, everyday eyes. But anytime there's a horror movie and something happens with someone's eye... totally grosses me out! I can see as much blood and gore with other parts of the body, but not eyes.

6.) My dad still mows my lawn. I realize this makes me sound spoiled (and maybe I am a little, but I appreciate everything my parents still do for me), but he actually enjoys it. He's the type of person who always has to have something going on. He can't take it if he has nothing to do. Plus, often when I'm planning on mowing myself, he comes over and does it before I have the chance.

Okay so not too many people read my blog, so anyone who has left comments for me is fair game in my opinion. That being said, I'm tagging... Jamie, Edger, and Simply Taylor.

Travel and money

We were talking about that "Where in the World is Matt Lauer" segment today at work and it got me thinking about travel. Now, I don't claim to be an expert on this segment, having never seen it before, but I totally love the sound of it. To be able to just travel around the world, visiting foreign lands, gathering knowledge about the history and culture of different countries... that would be amazing. Which has me asking myself, "Well, what's stopping you?"

The answer is simple: money. But I know that it won't always be an issue. This past year I have done a lot to help my financial situation out... contributing to my 401(k) at work, paying off some debt (still lots to go, but getting there), reading and following financial advice from Suze Orman (financial goddess in my opinion), and just generally trying to save more money. I am also going to start keeping a money diary to see if there are other ways I can cut down on my spending.

My goal here is to plan a trip to Ireland. An extended trip. And I think a trip all by myself. I would love to feel confident enough to go to a foreign country alone and really immerse myself in the culture and history of it. And Ireland, for whatever reason, is a country I have always been fascinated by. I blame Nora Roberts for this, having read several of her romance novels that were set there as a teenager and, therefore, deciding that it must be the most magical, romantic country ever. I'm thinking planning this for sometime in 2010, to give me enough time to have the money for it and research exactly what I want to do while I'm there.

So, you've read it here first. And I fully allow any of you on future postings to shame me for buying things that I don't actually need rather than saving up for my trip. It would help me immensely!