Bad Jenn

I did something stupid Friday night. I had gone out with my brother, sister-in-law, and a couple of my brothers friends and had a great time. I was flirting with one of the guys, and he was flirting back and everything was great. We all ended up coming back to my house, since thats where we started and I had all the beer/alcohol there. Well my brother and sister-in-law needed to get back home to take care of their dog so my dad came to get them (he's good like that... he'd rather pick us up at all hours of the night than have us spend our money on a taxi). So my dad offered everyone a ride home, and everyone went, including the guy who was flirting with me. Now I do understand his logic... my brother would be none to happy if I hooked up randomly with one of his best friends. Unfortunately, because I was then all worked up and wanting some action, plus not ready to go to bed yet, I called the ex.

STUPID! Of course he didn't answer, nor did he ever call me back, which just sent me to tears and feeling bad about the whole thing. I mean, I still miss him and hate that we're no longer together. And he was my best friend here, so I just miss being able to talk to him and hear how everything is going in his life. So now I have this dilemma... part of me wants to send him an email saying sorry for drunk dialing him and then getting a few things off my chest in oder to help me get a little more closure on the situation. But the other part of me knows that he probably won't write back, which will just make me more upset again. Even telling myself that I don't expect a response from him and that I'm doing this for me and not him, it will still hurt if it doesn't mean enough to him to even acknowledge me with a response.

So the question is, do I write him to try to feel more closure with the break-up? Or do I just let fate take its course, knowing that I still won't have my closure, but if its meant to be we'll somehow end up back together? If anyone has any strong opinions about this, I'm all ears.