I've come to the conclusion that I'm done with love. This new twist in my relationship with the ex has just proved to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that he and I are officially done. Yes I could have come to that conclusion (and pretty much had) when I didn't hear from him in a month and a half, but I could always have fantasies about him calling me up and wanting me back. Having heard straight from him that he's not in love with me, and isn't the guy I need him to be, has shut down my heart. I'm so sick and tired of hearing from my previous relationships that I'm a great girl, smart, funny, cute, and will make some guy really happy someday, but he just isn't the one. If I'm so wonderful, then why the hell do they break up with me? Do me the favor and don't tell me how great I am when you obviously don't mean it, cuz if you did we'd still be together. I never want to feel this way again. And the only way to ensure that I never feel this way again is to make sure I never fall in love again. Which is hard to come to grips with, since I've always been a big fan of love.
What do I really need a man for anyway? I mean, let's think about the big reasons: children? I can always adopt or do the sperm bank thing if I want biological children. I think I'm strong enough to raise kids on my own. money? I have a good job that pays well enough for me to pay all my bills, buy the things I need, and have enough left over to have some fun. Plus I'm investing in my 401k, so I'm already saving for the future. sex? this is probably the hardest one, but I've got toys that feel just as good and don't leave me. compainionship? I have a dog and when I need other people, I have a wonderful family and group of friends who I can spend time with. I can't think of a single good reason to have a man in my life when there's a probability that it won't work out and I'll be feeling like this again. Am I wrong?
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