Slap on the wrist

I'm giving myself a slap on the wrist right now, because I gave in to temptation a bit a few minutes ago. I was going back and forth about do I ignore my ex and let him come to me, or do I send him an email? I wanted to try really hard to ignore him and wait and see how long it took for him to contact me, but I gave in. I sent him an email basically saying that I had been mad but probably not for the reasons he thought and that Iw as mostly over it by now but still wanted to talk about it at some point so he knew where I was coming from. I also said that I was trying to give him some space right now which is why he hadn't heard from me and probably would hear less of me for a while (God-willing!) so that it would be up to him if he wanted to see me. I did try to make the email light-hearted by throwing in a joke or two, but I think it got my point across. I just hope it gets through to him and I get a response. I gave in because I knew it would drive me up a wall to just wait it out... I needed to take some sort of action. Plus I can already feel myself slipping away from the resolve of telling him I can't do this casual dating thing anymore. I want to tell him that, but the longer it is before hearing from him, the easier it is for me to forgive him because I'm not as mad anymore. And so maybe that shows how I really feel about it... that I want to work things out with him no matter what. But I do know that I deserve better and to be with someone who generally wants me around and doesn't make me feel like a slut. And right now I feel like, given the choice, he would rather only I be around when he wants to have sex, which does make me feel like a slut. Anyway, we'll see if he's at least decent enough to write back. And, even better, make plans to see me sometime so that we can talk about it and move on.