Being Deserving

You know what I find annoying. Whe a guy breaks up with me by saying something along the lines of , "I don't deserve you. You're too good for me." I find that to be utter bullshit. And it happens a lot to me for some reason.

Guess what? I don't deserve to be on a pedastal. I like to drink, have sex, party too much. I'm not very clean (house-wise). I like to eat junk food and don't much care for exercise. I have my faults. And if I'm dating you, then I expect you to accept these faults, as I accept yours. So don't say you don't deserve me. Let me decide whether or not you deserve me. If I'm dating you, obviously I see something good in you and think you do deserve me.

When I care about someone, it happens quickly and hard. With boys, with friends, with anyone. If I decide you're worth caring about, I will do anything for you. Having a bad day? I'll listen to you for hours, even if you end up repeating yourself. Feeling stressed? I'll try and do something nice for you, like bake you cookies or take you out for dinner, to help get your mind off of things. I will want to spend time with you, keep you company, treat you well. That's just who I am. That's my nature.

Yes, I come from a good family. Yes, I own my own home and pay all the bills for it on my own. Yes, I have a good job. Yes, I was a good girl (for the most part) growing up. But those things don't make who I am. And you shouldn't feel like you don't deserve just because you maybe didn't come from a good family. Or don't own your own home. Or struggle to pay your bills. Or maybe you have to work really hard at your job. Or maybe you were always getting in trouble growing up. Just because we're different in these aspects doesn't mean that you don't deserve me.

All I ask, all I ever ask, is that you treat me well. Treat me right. If you treat me the way I deserve to be treated, then you do deserve me. No matter what you do, no matter where you come from, no matter how much money you make. Guys always say they want a girl like me, but when they have the chance to be with me, suddenly they don't deserve me. Let me be the judge of that.

(This only partially stems from the issues with Juice. Still haven't talked to him, but one of his friends who is dating S told her that he thinks that Juice doesn't deserve me. Which makes me think that maybe part of what Juice is thinking about is whether he deserves me. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. But he should at least tell me where his thoughts are headed so we can talk about it. I'm calling him tonight. I've given him 3 days to think without bugging him. What I deserve is some answers).