A week ago I talk to Juice. We break up. He's not in a place where he can give me everything I give to him. He appreciates me. He cares about me. He's open to revisiting us in the future if the timing works out better, but right now he needs to work on him. He still wants me in his life and wants to be able to get together, hang out, talk, etc. He wants to come out for my birthday celebration. He says he'll call me over the weekend or beginning of the next week.
Last night, still having not heard any word from him, I call him. I leave a voicemail telling him about the plans for the festivities for Friday night. I hope to hear back from him one way or another. Whether he's coming or not. I tell him this. I also tell him not to be a stranger.
Nothing. And this? Just makes me angry. I was fine with breaking up. I took the high road. I didn't make him feel shitty for starting something he couldn't finish. I didn't care (well, okay. that's a lie. I cared, and still do, that we broke up. But I didn't let him know that). Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me the truth. If you don't want to be friends, say so. If it'd be too hard and confusing to see me right now, say so. If you want me gone from your life, say so. Don't tell me you want me in your life and you want to be friends if you don't. Don't say you'll call me over the weekend or beginning of the week if you have no intentions of doing so.
It's way easier to be mad than sad at least. I guess I just question everything he ever said to me now.
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2 comments:
Unfortunately I think it's time that you just let him be a part of your past. It's not worth it, trust me!
Granted, I know it's easier said than done...
i have found that anger is much easier to deal with. so be angry but when it starts to hurt a little don't push it away. it's so much easier to have an answer than to wonder but maybe he's not sure he can just be friends with you right now. give it a little time
*hugs
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